Do you remember that moment when you first fell head over heels in love with your child ? when you looked into those two sparkling eyes and thought, ?I am so completely in love with you!? ?Everyone told you it would happen, but when it actually did the intensity of those emotions proved unfathomable.? Feeling just how much joy your little bundle can bring you is one of the few constants in our dynamic world. ?It happens each time the stork makes a delivery, and it never gets old.
So when you?re pregnant for the second time, it can be difficult to keep your head straight.? You are, after all, in the throes of infatuation with your first child. ?You?re also too busy to comprehensively plan for multiplying your responsibilities times two.? This is where your business sense has to come to the aid of your motherly instinct.
As a business woman, you love to create and build capacity.? Adding to your family is capacity building at its best, and all capacity building requires a sound management strategy. ?Planning for your second pregnancy is without a doubt different from planning for your first, so you need second pregnancy?specific plans to prepare you and your family for the new life coming into your home. ?Here are some high-impact ideas to get you started.
Childbirth Classes, Round Two
Yes, it?s important to take another childbirth class with your partner, even if you took one with your first pregnancy.? You?ll be surprised at what you did not learn the first time around. ?Most first-time parents are anxious, which hinders their ability take in new information.? Plus, many of the benefits derived from a childbirth class are dependent upon the teacher. Even if you take a class at the same hospital, the odds are that you will have a different instructor, with a different perspective and teaching style.? Additionally, even if your first pregnancy was only two to three years ago, clinical guidelines have changed.? Prepare to learn about changes regarding pertussis vaccination for mom, cord blood banking, delayed cord clamping options, new crib standards, and more.
Lastly, taking a childbirth class together serves as a terrific ?nesting? function for you and your partner.? Signing up for a class forces you to hire a babysitter and leave the house as a couple.? If a traditional class is not your thing, try one of the expectant couples dinner events sponsored by Bump Club and Beyond or the other family networks in Chicago, like Families in the Loop, Neighborhood Parents Network, or kickSprout.
Let It Shower
Many of us have a hard time accepting gifts or letting people help us.? To paraphrase from Seth Godin?s book Linchpin, letting your friends exercise their ??emotional? labor? is good for them.? It allows them to use different parts of their brain, improve their cardiac health, practice gratitude, and satisfy the instinctual need for human connection.? This is not to say that you can?t participate and offer some great shower theme ideas. ?In fact, your friends will appreciate the input.
Diaper showers can be great for expectant dads.? These events give guys their own forum to celebrate the pregnancy, build their tribe of fellow dads, and help them get a grasp on their new paternal reality.? If you?re so inclined, Hooters will even host and plan this event for you.
Maybe you already have all the baby gear and clothes you need from baby number one, in which case you can suggest that friends purchase ?experiential? gifts meant just for you and your oldest. ?Whether they?re gift cards to museums, play cafes, or retailers, they?ll be priceless investments in helping your first little love through the transition of welcoming a sibling into the home.
It?s true that having two kids means you?ll be twice as busy. ?So don?t be afraid to ask for gifts like housekeeping services, dinners to go, home grocery delivery service, and gift cards for the dry cleaners, carpet cleaning, or organizing vendors.
Keeping Connected to Number One
Most parents spend considerable time preparing their first child for the arrival of a sibling.? However, for many second-time moms, the two to three days spent in the hospital to give birth will be the first time they?re away from their older child.? Often, this is emotionally difficult for mom.? So besides determining who will take care of your older child during this time, plan how the two of you will stay connected.
Ask yourself when your child will visit you and who will drive him or her to the hospital. ?Make sure you?ve shared your child?s bedtime routine with the caregiver so that time spent away from you will have as much continuity as possible for your child.? Additionally, consider using technology like Skype or iChat to read to your child from your hospital room.? Most hospitals rooms have wireless capability. ?Or, if that is too techy for you, consider making a video or audio file of yourself reading your child?s favorite book before you go into labor.? Your caregiver can then play this while you are away.
There are so many reasons to love all 40 weeks of your second pregnancy, including the fact that postdates are rarer. ?When it comes time for delivery, you?ll feel the fetal movement more quickly, and labor and pushing generally happen substantially faster. ?And even though you might be eager to return to your non-pregnant body as soon as possible, remember that keeping baby inside as long as you can is best for you and baby.
~By Kim Wilschek
Kim Wilschek
Kim Wilschek is a nurse, certified perinatal educator, CPR instructor, and chief learning officer for Safety Squad & Chicago CPR. Kim has been educating parents for over 20 years at various organizations, including managing the perinatal education program at the Mid-west?s largest maternity center. She has authored multiple publications on pregnancy and newborn safety and presented at national healthcare & education conferences. Kim currently serves as the Chicago Pregnancy Examiner for examiner.com, executive board member for Health Connect One, advisory council for AWHONN?s Health 4 mom and baby platform, consultant to Women?s Health Foundation, and advisory council for Together with Baby.
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